I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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