I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize