I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
