what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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