Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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