Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
