Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
