Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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