Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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