I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
