i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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