well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Randomize
