my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
