Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
