It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
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Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
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I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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