note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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