Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
