He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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