The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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