im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize