You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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