hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
vagina is talking i cant
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
