yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
