Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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