i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
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We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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