if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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