Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
