What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Let the clothes fall where they may.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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