There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize