Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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