i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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