My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
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I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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