My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
