the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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