I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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