oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize