I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
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At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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