Everything about him screamed your future.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
