Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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