Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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