i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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