it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
