Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
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Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
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So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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