i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
