watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize