I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
