Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
