If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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