I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
