I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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