Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
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WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
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He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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