FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize