his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
