Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Randomize
