fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
